Ah

Well Chris, you have come to the right person indeed. I am no self proclaimed expert on GY, but given that I am a good friend of his, I am one of the few in class who can understand him partially. Ok fine. He gives me something new to discover everyday. But that is ok. I will give you information on what I know and give you some tips. I have encountered similar situations as yours when I needed some personal breathing room but HE WAS THERE. And he was, as he was  saying "A waste of O2" Whatever dude. So I shall give you a hand here.
Now from what I understand Chris, GY is extremely attracted(I doubt he is gay but as I said I do not know him fully yet...) to you and Ben for reasons both me and Yanny have already analysed for you both. Now you may not exactly wish to accept the cold, hard truth, but you two are entertaining, the "crazy pair"(no offense meant), the jesters, the jokers...and you are also exactly what he needs. In my humble opinion Guoyin appears to be quite an attention seeker. I think theres an attention seeker in most of us, but he puts it across the most. This can be seen from how much force he places in the volume of his words. Ahem. Ok I admit that my voice can be quite loud but that is really not my fault and I am a good boy and I was actually trying to be quiet :( Not really :D As they say, they can hear him from miles away. Now, Chris and Ben are two of the more extrinsic students in our class, and they crack jokes and stuff and provide humour for the whole family. They are given quite abit of attention(alot), and GY has joined in because he wants some part of it too you know. He desperately seeks to be part of this group and be placed in the limelight along with you two, maybe form a "JOKER TRIPLET LOL GROUP". Imagine that. You two are there. Ben with his lame/funny comments, Chris with his amusing antics, but when you throw in GY, somehow the equation just starts turning haywire and you start getting anomalous results. He can't cut it, not with his strange sense of humour which I swear I do not get. The trick to good humour is to do it subtly at opportunate moments, and even Qinghao with his seriousness can crack a good joke because HE IS DOING IT RIGHT. However, GY cannot do it. I am serious. I have tried hard to laugh at his jokes but they were so forced my lungs were appearing in my mouth. Good jokes do not comprise of walking around talking in a SHOUTING VOICE, nor does it involve HAH I JUMP INTO/PUSH/SHOVE/STRANGLE OTHERS THIS IS FUNNY. Nor does good jokes involve lame bullcrap about old men and drunk men and seedy bars and a hundred other cliched jokes which pretty much killed me there and then when he held me down to listen. HELD ME DOWN. Ah, three months of frustration is appearing. I will give you an example of a joke he made and you see if it sends you into stitches. WHO KNOWS IT JUST MIGHT.

One day a man entered a bar and he lost a job and was poor and was just real down. Then the bartender offered him a million bucks provided he a)downed a hundred mugs of beer b)extract two back teeth from the maws of a fierce pitbull c)entertain an old woman you know...you get what I mean right. *gasp* So at first the poor soul refused but after a few more beers he started to get tipsy and he quickly downed 100 mugs of beer. He then proceeded to the bartender's house to extract the teeth. A few hours later he had not returned and when he returned his clothes was in tatters. And he asked "So wheres the grandma that needed the teeth pulled?"

joke ends

HAI GUYZ THAT WAS FUNNY AM I CORRECT. Now you get what I mean? Perhaps some of you all got it and laughed. I cannot speak for everyone but when I heard it my first thoughts were "WOW COLD". In case you have not figured out the crux of the joke, it lies in the fact that the man here had went to pleasure the pitbull instead, swapping the tasks. Ok is that a small smile appearing on your face? Or are you still thinking "LOL WTF ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY" I was of the latter and I had to break a small forced smile to placate him and to ensure he does not stand there saying "You UNDERSTAND right? AHAHAHAHHA" and laughed at his own joke. Such bland and warped humour is crude and obvious not very intelligent. So as I said before, Ben and Chris will be making some comments and antics and stuff. Then GY will SUDDENLY break into laughter and shout:"PLEASE LAR. I AM FUNNIER THAN THAT" before going off on a joke most likely to deal with the aged and the drunk and some animals which may or may not be funny. I place money on the latter, feel free to bet on the former.
And after that lengthy explanation, Chris, I hope you understand now why he is like a bee and you two are the honey. Urgh. Wrong simile but thats ok. You see the truth now? You see his dreams of the JESTER TRIPLET which will send the class off into peals of laughter? However, from how I see it that is not going to happen anytime too soon. Now at this point in time, I can continue to pick on more of GY's flaws, but that will be too mean. After all, usually we like a person due to some of his/her flaws. Or so says one famous quote. However, I shall touch on ONE issue that has angered Ben,Chris, me and even to a smaller extent, Yanny. Oh and boss too. Hell, its mainly the guys. I doubt GY would dare touch Qinghao or Kelvin for fear of getting his bones ripped from his flesh.
And this issue is the combination of an immature mind and a hyperactive mentality. I have no idea why, but GY thinks it is apparently EXTREMELY humorous to start bumping, shoving, punching everyone else. Ahahaha GY. You think this is funny? No it isn't. In fact I could get along well with him until he started to get "too" familiar and got violent. I will give you a few examples.
a) Brutalizing me with his racquet. And Yanny as well. But he did that to me more and it was worse because he hit ME and not my bag. That really was one time that I nearly gave him a punch. No matter how I look like one, I am not a squash ball. Bloody idiot. I feel like snapping the stupid racquet with my bare hands someday. Time for more training at California.
b) "WOW IM THE UNDERTAKER I CHOKEHOLD BENJA AHAHHA. AND I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH WHAT WAS GOING ON"- GY(no he did not say this. but who cares)
c) I have no idea why. In the first term, there was this remarkable incident where Ruina and fellow friends were entering the Nexus while me,Chris and GY were inside. Then GY started to run forward and push close the door WITH FORCE while the girls were opening it. If I remember correctly Ruina's arm was mildy injured which I think she got over quickly but that was indeed a stupid move by GY because he is currently being ostracized by just about every single girl in class. I remember being quite curious because usually guys in JCs behaved like gentlemen(BOSS IS THE BEST EXAMPLE YES GO BOSS GO) but the way he pushed the door close and his laughter of triumph made me had the impression he was a hyperactive seven year old kid. Add that to the fact that he started implying that some girls in class were brainless and he sealed his enmity with half the girl population!!! It was an excellent move by him and he checkmated...himself.
d) Pushing. Shoving. Punching. This is highly not funny and honestly he is lucky he is in a tolerant class. I can imagine in my old class back in TCHS where muscular gangster wannabes were rampant and the only way to survive was to keep low profile. If he was there he would have had his scrawny butt handed to him. Well I suppose that we can do the same but we are the good guys yar =D

This is really long isn't it. Ah I have digressed. Well Chris to go back on track, you have asked for help in removing GY. That is expected, but I have to tell you the harsh truth. It is impossible. There is no way you can shake him off. He will cling to you FOREVER. He will be your faithful friend TO THE END TO THE END TO THE END AHAHAHA.
 
Removing GY from you is like removing a tattoo of "LOL I AM GAY" from your forearm which you had foolhardedly pierced yourself as you thought it was funny at the age of 10. Now it does not appear so funny and you want it off. Well there are no easy ways. The only way is with a sharp, hot knife.  Wait I am not trying to incite any murderous intentions in any of you all. Ok. A few quick easy steps in dealing with him easily.
a) When conversing with him, simply nod, give affirmative sounds like "Hmmm yes yes of course. Yes. Ah yes yes yes." This is highly effective and next time I have a convo with him try hearing what I am contributing to the conversation. Probably not very much as I am busying Hmming and Yesing away. This will satisfy his urge to share his information, but will also cause him to grow bored easily as you are not making useful responses. His talk on Pentiums and RAMs and old men at airport will stop once he finished and all you had replied was the one word. "Yes"
b) Walk in a gang my friends. Sure he sticks to the gang alot. But unfortunately, in a gang he has more targets to choose from. Its like economies of scale. Your total costs are spread over a larger output. The blow is softer. In this case, he will get to choose from many exciting targets like me or chris or ben or yanny.
c) I think the girls are already doing this. They are ignoring him as much as possible. Sad. Guys cannot do this as he will continue to follow and the general rule of thumb is NEVER IGNORE GY. Rather refer to method a). Ignoring him may result in him getting a fit due to insufficient attention and he may start brandishing his racquet and fists. Girls are exempted from this rule because the day he raises a racquet against say Eileen is the day when he is thrown over a rooftop.
d) This is bad but if you cannot take him trying leading him to the gang. Haven't you noticed thats what I have been doing lately? AHAHA. Then once there, use method b)

Ok honestly the above tips suck and there is no serious way. Alternatively you could be like me and cultivate a fruitful relationship with GY and it will not be so bad in the end. However, you better be prepared with alot of mental stamina and endurance because I had to train myself REALLY hard such that I can go toe to toe with him in terms of talking. And the benefits? The are many! For example...argh.  Its abit difficult to come up with. But for example, he may occasionally give you information that is actually helpful(no not pentiums not rams not video card). Also, hes indeed a loyal companion and will follow you to the end of the world. Where can you find such undying loyalty? He can also be fun to chat with but extended conversations are a no-no as it drains your stamina and soon you will be resorting to "hmmmm yes of course."

Ok. Long. Bye. I will end here.