Not a sequel but...

it's still an entry. In any case the sequel I promised was actually a gimmick which can be seen from so many movies and novels with cliffhanger endings. I never really thought of a sequel though I did have some ideas floating about in my mind. Of course one of the more difficult things about continuing that fictional tale is the fact that sooner or later I will have to reveal GY's imaginary love interest without bringing in names. I mean, which girl will want to be involved with him...it could be rather damaging to her reputation.
But since I assigned with the duty of writing out some of his more interesting tales that occured recently, why not. Actually most of these you will already have heard, it's just a richer description of what happened. I will try to give an account that is as realistic and true to the story as possible, though I suspect I will lose control.

How should I do this....ok Qinghao gave me this idea. Credits to him!

FIVE GY BLOOPERS IN TERM TWO>

Note: In chronological order

1) The slip of the tongue

Hahahaha. It is a common fact that GY has always liked to "speak his mind" and express his thoughts in a most mindless fashion. I know plenty of people who are upfront with what they think, and quite a sizeable number of them in this class as well. No I am not revealing any names and anyway it's not really a bad thing to be direct. But he has this magical way of doing it such that it seems like he was talking off the top of his head and had not considered the repercussions of his statement. In that rather slack GP reading period a few weeks ago, this trait was demonstrated.
Sabariah was busy discussing with the front row about their views on our fine college. We weren't presenting glowing reviews of course, but it was the guys who were being negative about the whole thing. In a bid to show that the girls are less narrow-minded, Sabariah asked Angel about whether she was happy here. Angel gave a constrasting review from the guys of course, something along the lines of " I am quite happy here" or something. Sabariah(Wow I write it such that she is like my personal friend LOL) veered triumphantly to the guys and said, " See? The girls are more open hearted than you!"

GY:"Well that's because girls only think of the small picture what!"

That statement left his mouth a little too quickly. I chuckled as I could already forsee the interesting reactions from the ones around him. And it was not disappointing at all. Sabariah verbally slammed him rather hard for displaying such chauvinistic tendencies. The girls in the front row gave him that "what the hell did you just say you dirty MCP" look. The guys were in a state of convulsive laughter. GY was looking all confused before the full impact of what he has said hit him. He tried to justify lamely with a few faltering denials like "well it's true what....", "i speak what's in my mind..." ,"they really think of the small picture most of the time!"

Needless to say that did not aid him in his unenviable situation. In fact, it spread to even the back row, and there were some rather amusing responses to his sentence. It gradually varied and contorted until it reached a basic form which spread easily.

"GY said girls are narrow minded"

My my GY. Apparently he had not considered his surroundings before uttering those words. MCP comments in a class of roughly what...70% girls? Hahahha. He was simply asking for it.

2) 你不想要巧克力糖吗？我将带走他们!


Well...the above was a badly translated sentence, but given the fact that you are ALL proficient in Higher Chinese, you should be able to vaguely figure out what it's trying to say. Disclaimer: I had no chinese language computer programs thus I used an online translator to directly translate the sentence. I feel that this further adds to the hilarity of it.

Chocolates are heavenly stuff. I think most who are not too concerned with its adverse effects on health will attest to that. So naturally, GY likes chocolates. Hey, who doesn't. I like chocolates too. But unfortunately, it appears that during that econs lecture a few weeks ago, GY really REALLY likes his chocolates.

I can't exactly remember the motives for shifting us to LT 3, but that's not really important. The incident happened before lesson commenced. Ruina was passing over some mint chocolates supplied by Qiuhan I believe. Was there one piece or two? I remember seeing only one. In any case as it was being handed over skipper by Ruina(was it? dunno) GY snatched it out of mid air and said in a toady voice," mMmmmMMmMMmm I LOOOOVE mint chocolates! They are the best!" Before he unwrapped it at sublight speeds and popped it into this mouth. His jaw muscles exercised vigorously before he sent it down his gullet. This entire process happened in less than 30 seconds. To be honest the sight of him eating is as fascinating as it is revolting. But really, I mean why did he have to be so greedy for a pathetic piece of cocoa? He could have at least asked...but wait no....otherwise it will be like the pizza. Oh that's another story.

Later on in class Qiuhan offered Yanhan a piece of the mint chocolate also. Second last piece. Yanhan was about to reach for it when GY once again performed the disappearing chocolate magic trick, finishing his loud munching with "mMmmMMm I LOVE mint chocolate!" I swear I written this sentence before somewhere back but it's fun to write it again. I could only stare in disbelief that me and Yanhan's only chance at tasting this wonderful stuff had been taken once again by GY. I mean we weren't THAT hard up for chocs, but really now....surely a bit more self restraint and consideration wouldn't be too much to ask? Of course we didn't really actively pursue this for it was only a piece of chocolate with dimensions 3 cm x 2 cm, and even if we did he would just go "well...sue me" in a particularly uncanny imitation of an Indian.

In any case there is a little more to this story. Winnie at the end of Chemistry lesson offered a sweet to Yanhan with an indirect jab at GY. Now either he didn't get it, which was highly unlikely, or he chose not to get it. But after the girls left, he erupted. It appears that GY had this bad experience with females right from the start. "I don't understand!" he laments, "I already tried not to interact with them!" and other crap. "Guys you can be more direct with them, but girls always attack you in a roundabout way!" Gah. He doesn't understand. I don't claim to be MASTER OF UNDERSTANDING GIRLS but surely some basic principles are essential for non hostile contact. But GY has wisely or perhaps unwisely decide to adopt his "foreign policy- no contact with girls". Ah well. This world is full of females. I can only picture him sitting alone in a tiny hardware store at some dank corner in Sim Lim Square, which charges DIRT CHEAP PRICES but women are not allowed to enter the shop and it is a single man operation. Sad.

Note: I consumed his share of Mrs Low's Belgian chocolate. DAMN THAT FELT GOOD

3) AAAAAAAARRRRRGH

This really isn't very amusing because it was more of my fault than it was anyone's. But apparently many people were rubbing their hands in glee when it happened. Basically it was Maths Lecture a couple of days ago and as usual he was sitting to the right of me. Now you know the LTs have these pathetic swing tables attached on the right. Poor GY was sitting on my right. Through the course of the lecture his leg came to a position right under my table. So anyway I was wondering where Qinghao was and I decided to peep down the row. I arched by body downwards, bringing my full body weight(HAHAHAHHA) onto the table. It swung down and GY's leg was sorta there you know......

"AAAAAAAAAAARGH"

I have been requested to describe this scream to the best of my literary abilities. I think that is a mean challenge. It is nearly impossible and you will have to hear it to believe it. Hmm....ok the scream had that characteristic GY tone in it, that harsh thin quality with that feral nature of someone experiencing sheer agony. The expression is totally priceless as his eyes loomed wide and he was gnashing his teeth. I think this is extremely evil of me and I shall stop now. Anyway, I could see Kelvin laughing his head off, probably at both GY and my expressions. GY still had that pained look as he muttered "you stupid...." and I had that blur look of innocence before I apologised as profusely as I could. Apparently GY's scream was highly amusing and soon the whole lecture theater was laughing. Some girl sitting behind us was giggling shrilly and did so for like the next 5 minutes. She could really sustain her giggling and it was really annoying. Both of us were in an embarrassing situation, but what could I say. In the morning he had threatened to beat me up or something and now he experienced some fun. All I can say was that he had a thousand curses upon him, therefore something as innocent as a swing table could come close to surgically remove his left leg. Pity.

4) Wet hair day

Afternoon PE. One of the many banes of my existence. But thankfully, that day afternoon PE was for EVERYONE. This made NAPFA failures like me a little more cheery at the fact that the rest of the class was also forced into doing some fun and exciting physical training stuff. Now as usual, the guys after Maths Lesson rushed into the first floor toilet in Block 11 with the intention of changing(duh) and causing as much havoc as possible. Today we appeared to have a rather special performance prepared for us. I think the stress of our daily life was getting to Chris and he was in this Merlion mood today. He would take sips of tap water from his bottle, hold it in his mouth before expelling it from a narrowly aperture formed from his lips in a powerful, fine spray. However, the actual amount actually spat out was quite miniscule, so Chris could afford to "PSSSSH" a few more times before he needed reloading. So in a way everyone was laughing and screaming and running out of Chris's way as he appeared to be indiscriminating in his targets. He chased Benjamin around the toilet and the guys were forced into the corner near the toilet door half naked with no escape. Anyway it was great fun in a rather stupid way I suppose.

So anyway Chris was half naked this time with a full load in his mouth. He was busy spraying at the mirror for no good reason. By now the whole toilet was smelling suspiciously like saliva enzymes. GY appeared to have thought of a brilliant plan and was washing his hands. Chris suddenly turned his target to us(not GY). He released a fine mist from his mouth and grinned. It appears that he had no water left in his mouth for his cheeks had deflated. GY suddenly spun around and splashed a handful of water onto Chris and grinned jubilantly. I bet he was thinking "HAHAHA GOT YOU WITH MY COUNTERATTACK" and he was striding away in a deliberate manner, his back facing Chris. What a terrible mistake.

Chris opened his mouth. What came out wasn't a spray. He would have done the Merlion proud as the stream of water splashed onto the back of GY's head. His cheeks truly deflated this time.

I swear, the sight of it will make ANYONE burst into laughter. There GY was, really quite wet with saliva contaminated water, trying to run away from Chris even though the damage was already done. Chris was nonchantly returning to the mirror. Me and Benjamin were collapsing on the ground, weak from the sight of GY having his ploy backfire. I laughed until I was out of breath, and Benjamin punctuating the air with GY lines like "Weak!" "Noob!" made it even better. Hahaha. It wasn't a very good week for him.

5) Class birthday

Well, class birthday. What can I say. I was glad that we actually took the effort to celebrate it, though I have a few afterthoughts which would best remained unrevealed. Anyway, we had decided to order the fine Italian dish of pizza, and it was good food. Free food. FREE. FOOD. It was even lower than DIRT CHEAP prices. Surely, it will irresistible to our very good friend.

While I can give you a full description of what happened before the pizza arrived, it wouldn't have been very interesting. Suffice to say, the girls ate their share first(most of them anyway) and the remaining two pizzas arrived for the boys. By now the boys have arrived and I could see him eyeing the pizza with beady eyes. As the pizza opened he reached for it immediately and took a slice out before I could even react. My eyebrows arched, and just when he was about to stuff it into his mouth the class decided on a birthday song. He quickly replaced it in the box, and I must say that I felt a bit queasy taking from that pizza later. The birthday song was finished quickly and he was the first to rip the pizza he took out. It was still hot, and the melted cheese was dangling in strands around the edge of the pizza. By now the whole class's attention was centred on him for his impressive lightning fast movements when it came to grabbing free food. All eyes were on him as he....my god I can't describe this! Words fail me! Oh. He was suspending the pizza above his mouth, lowering the strands in to bite before lifting it out to savour another strand....and another.....

I could hear the sounds of appallment and the looks of disgust coming through. GY remained too obsessed with his pizza to notice. "GY, could you eat with a bit more refinement?" I asked. He looked at me in puzzlement, " Trust me Victor, I can eat ALOT worse than this," before suggestively licking the air above his pizza in a frenzied manner. I decided that I could probably do without seeing that happen so I kept quiet and took my fair share of slices.

And the scenario I was positively certain was going to happen came true. Once again that last slice -_- Of course, he had already claimed it right at the start. When the moment came, he raised it up and announced loudly "LAST PIECE OF HAWAIIAN. WHO WANT? OK ARH. LAST PIECE OF HAWAIIAN, WHO WANT, OR I TAKE" as he waved it around unenthusiastically. Thankfully he was courteous enough to at least ask. Or at least what I thought. I think he was betting on the fact that no one would take up the offer, and apparently the girls were too deep in conversation to actually try to hijack his precious slice of pizza.

Kelvin boldly declared that he wouldn't mind having the last piece. Unfortunately GY was not going to give up so easily. He cast a dirty look, "OTHER THAN YOU" I wasn't surprised. Kelvin has an easy going nature and GY would take full advantage of that. Qinghao was fuming and HE decided to take up the challenge. "I want" Two simple words were adequate. However, Qinghao was apparently unable to follow through all the way, or perhaps he was testing GY's reaction. GY being rather frightened of Qinghao passed the pizza to him hesistantly. Qinghao took a single look and placed it on the table. Apparently GY took this as a sign that Qinghao was joking and grabbed it and wolfed it down quickly so that Qinghao wouldn't change his mind. However, he started to realize that the class appeared to be staring at him and he quickly made his escape. But the class sure did have fun using him as our conversation topic for the next 2 hours, and what you are reading now was perhaps a result of that conversation.

This is it people. It took me some time to write it all out, and I am getting all sleepy. Hoped you liked it. Have fun.