bad, real...bad....

dis is chris...I went for my grandpa' funeral yesterdae...:( when i reached the parlour, my relatives were already there. Some wept bitterly and others, the kids, luffing as though nutting had happened. I walked gingerly into the parlour, afraid to make any unnecessary noise. I took one last long look at my grandpa. i had nv looked at him that wae b4. i started to ask myself whether that was my Ah Gong or not. i had sumhow forgotten his looks, though his was rather vague in my memories. my uncle touched his face...another touched his hand...my bro too, touched his hand. He said it was cold. i din touch his hand though; i gently placed my hand on Ah Gong's chest. He looked so much at peace. den my heart suddenly 'wrenched' by itself...it was a sign that i was going to cry, but sumhow..i managed to fight back my tears. U see, i din realli had any close contact wif my Ah Gong... I proceeded back outside to prepare for later's chanting of prayers.

here came the chanting part...we had to wear white T-shirts and socks b4 we stood in rows according to bei4 fen4 in front of my Ah Gong's body. Den the monk in charge commenced chanting. we had to bow and kneel and bow for quite a few times...Later, the monk led us ard my grandpa's body, chanting prayers along the wae... I took one look at the coffin as i moved ard it, trying to figure my grandpa's body in it...upon thinking of it, i felt like crying...

After the undertakers placed Ah Gong's body into the coffin and sealed it, my heart sank down again...i was realli going to cry...after that, my relatives went outside the parlour to fold paper yuan bao for Ah Gong, leaving mi and a few others, my cousins, to burn notes for Ah Gong. i was realli realli depressed when i burned the notes, one by one...later, we followed the monk, wif my uncles carrying the big big paper house and aunties carrying bags of yuan baos to the back of the parlour where the tall trees loomed in darkness. the monk chanted again while we followed him ard the paper house..we placed those yuan baos into the house and ard it...wif sadness, i did so...later as the undertaker started to burn the house...my heart wrenched by itself once more...bye grandpa...bye...

We went to my Ah Ma' house to rest for the night. i took a bath and ate some beehoon...afterwhich..i slept on a mattress placed on the floor...it was alrdy 1 am by then...my aunt switched off the lights and there i was...in complete darkness...I tossed abt here and there..but I juz couldn't sleep at all...when i heard others snoring into deep slumber, I got up and sitting wif my arms wrapped ard my legs and my head down, I started to recall the moments i had wif my grandpa. I recalled one incident...it was when i was six years old...my grandparents had alwaes been poor and lived in a shabby-looking flat...during Mid-Autumn festival, my family and i went to visit them. Den my grandpa asked mi and my brothers to follow him. he led us to his room. Despite him being very poor, he actually...sob... forked out money to buy lanterns and those wif music ones as well for us three brothers...I still recalled him..sob...putting batteries so that they could work...sob...den i recalled him putting them the wrong wae...and he...sob...attempted to take them out again and putting them in the correct order..sob...so that...sob..they could work....T_T I cried real bitterly to myself so that no one could hear mi...as tears rolled down my cheeks..i again tot of those moments...making mi cry even more....

The next dae, i woke up wif realli red eyes...they were a bit swollen but no one could tell it. We had to get rdy for cremation ceremony...we went to the parlour. Ah Gong was carried into the van by four undertakers...and we set off for the temple...GUANG MING SI...we walked slowly as the van moved sluggishly wif the funeral song being played...i felt like crying again...but i managed to hold back my tears....:(

As we got to the temple, we had to follow the monks there as they chanted..that was..to kneel down and bow and walk ard the offerings again...den came the part when i was abt to cry...the cremation part...i watched as Ah Gong's coffin was being pushed into the flames..it was realli heart-breaking...cuz i would nv get to see him again....

We went back to my Ah Ma's house again to take a short break...afterwhich we proceeded back to the temple to collect leftover bones of Ah Gong...we masked ourselves to protect ourselves from the ashes and heat...we used chopsticks to collect shattered bones, piece by piece...tears started to well in my eyes again...after that, we placed coins into the urn where the bones were located...lastly, we went ard the temple to where my Ah Gong's tablet was found...I looked at the tablet very sadly...

we spent the whole afternoon on Ah Gong's funeral and now i m back home, writing this blog...after some good sleep....

One thing that i have learnt: Cherish who and what u have...ya would regret it if ya dun....

with that, i end my blog...

.......bye Ah Gong...bye.......sob....