^_^

Biologist. Entrepreneur. We have some businesswomen in the making, maybe a pilot, an accountant, an engineer, a bak kwa seller... not bad. That's what I call variety.

For me, the moment I held my results in my hands, I knew that essentially a dark future awaited me. With these results, there was nowhere I could go. The sinking realization left me waking up a shaking figure of dishevelment in the nights that followed, wondering what I have done wrong. Perhaps I wasn't the "exam-taker" type, or perhaps my luck had run out on me. Yet, these were just excuses I had put up as some form of internal barrier, to soften the blow from having the knowledge that ultimately, it was sloth that destroyed whatever prospects I had. Such grades would leave me at the door of even the least discriminating of universities. Twelve years of studying, gone in a flash of regret and pain.

Ultimately, I made a life-changing decision. Whatever impacts it would have on my life...I wouldn't know. And I couldn't care, even if I wanted to. I knew in my heart that this was not truly where I wanted to be, but when a man runs out of options, he will have to take whatever he can get.

Thus it was with a shaky hand as I signed the contract. It was a hard decision. But it was one I had to make. I knew at least that perhaps, just perhaps that for next decade of my life, I would be placed under the wing of the government. I will not have to worry about how fate deals its cards, and whether there will be firms who are willing to let me have a chance to work for them.

Yet regret filled me. Despite my repeated self-assurings, I knew it was the bond of the devil, and there would be no escape. I will be detached from a world from which I was so comfortable in. My scrawled signature seemed to mock me endlessly with its twisting, intricate lines. Remarkable, I thought to myself absently.

The deed was done.

Now I sit here, two stripes on the sleeve of my green. Already, I will be earning far more than my peers. This is no comfort however. Someday, they will leave, and I will still be here. Someday they may draw incomes which elude my imagination, while I shall be living off what the government has to offer me. As my eyes gave the line of words one more pass...

"ORD DATE: 19/01/16"

A tear rolled down my cheek.













KANINA YOU